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She paused for a few moments before she spoke again. “Well, that’s his penis--”“I know that! I’m not stupid! Look, the kissing was great, magical, even. It’s like I get transported when we kiss, all my troubles just vanish and my mind calms. Even when he touched my boobs, it was still fine. In fact, it felt nice and I got a little turned on. But then, he wanted me to touch his cock …”My breathing shallowed, it was like I couldn’t get enough oxygen. I could only speak between gasps now.“I pulled my … hand back … and he … unzipped his pants and … took it out … and … “ Steph held on to me as I cried harder. “And he put his hand … on the back of my neck and … tried to pull me down …”Stephanie held me tight, telling me it was alright now, she was taking care of me, it was all fine, those kinds of things. But it didn’t matter, my mind was spinning out of control, the room was closing in, and somebody had taken all the oxygen out of the room. That same somebody grabbed the insides of my. I'm evencontemplating living this way. Staying in 1997. Staying as Christina. Ifthis is my life now, I can certainly live with it. All that reallyconcerns me is what wrong am I suppose to right? Is it important enoughfor me to throw all of this away?It's now Day 9 out of two weeks and I still have no clue what I'msupposed to do. I'm starting believe that I can't predict it. It willlikely be one of those events I don't know about until I'm confrontedwith it. I'd have no way to prepare for it.If this is truly an event I can't predict and the guardian angel hintedthat I'll just happen to be in the right place at the right time, thenmaybe I should stop worrying and enjoy the next week. Fate and Destinywill lead me to the event no matter what I do. So maybe I should "enjoythe ride" as Chase suggested.I hate not being in control of a situation. It's like I'm writing aprogram and I'm not running tests on it constantly. So I'm going to getto this event, and I pray that I have the tools at my.
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